Tired Words…

Most of my writing the past month has ended up in the unfinished or even garbage pile. I’ll be honest and say that it is mostly because I find it hard to believe that anybody wants to know about the nit picky, nitty gritty that is going on in my heart. I want to finish this post, and I want to share it with you. So here it goes…

Remember that edge that I often talk about, {if you don’t, read my post Make Me Yours…}, the one involving white, muck and mire, and a cleansing holiness. Well, I feel like there is more to that edge. The high of being saved from despair starts to wear down {just because we are human, not because it should, we should relish in this daily} and now we are walking on with next steps.

This is where we have to begin to trust, not just claim we believe. As we begin to walk, we realize how much trust is really involved because there are areas of this bridge that are weaker than others. There are areas where we are weaker and we need to be carried, we have to allow someone to carry us. There are areas that feel as thin as a tight rope, we are questioning if we will make it through this rough spot or not, but we have to believe we will or we might as well stop trying.

During this walk, we learn what hand to hold. We learn, more than anything, to let go of worry. No one can get you to this place on their own, it is with your own two feet, your own heart and your own head. And suddenly when we learn to not hold on so tightly, we begin to see glimpses of whole heartedly trusting. We see first hand how beautifully messy it is. We begin to take time, to breathe, and to look at the beautiful and not so beautiful moments of life as equally important. There are no mistakes as you walk your own way, you are being guided in all the ways you need to be as long as your heart is surrendered and your palms are up {your grip is nonexistent, you are openhanded}.

Your bridge may be looking thin, maybe you are walking a tight rope, maybe you need to allow yourself to be carried for this chapter of life. Your words may be tired and failing to come out right.

Rejuvenate yourself.

Not by looking down and persistently trekking towards what is next but look around you to see what small, simple beauties you are passing by.